I didn't learn much about being pretty as a child. I grew up knowing that I was beautiful and that I didn't need any makeup to look good. I wholly believe that, but I was looking at a picture the other day of a woman who was wearing eyeliner, and I saw that her eyes popped a little more than they would when she wasn't wearing it.
So, I was looked at myself in the mirror, realizing that I'm a 27 year old mother of 3 kids (2 of them girls) who walks around with my hair in a pony tail most of the time and I rarely put more time into my appearance than it takes to comb my fingers through my hair and wrap a band around it into a pony tail. I rarely look into the mirror for more than minute. I also realize that my self esteem is low. Not really low, but I think doing more for myself to feel better would help tremendously and feeling pretty always helps you feel better about yourself, right? So I decided to put myself through a personal challenge of putting makeup on every day for 7 days. Mostly, I'm sticking to eye liner for now, but I may move on to using eye shadow and other things. I've always gotten itchy whenever I tried to wear makeup, causing me to subconsciously rub my face wherever it itches, thus causing a makeup mess on my face. It's not usually fun. So in this challenge, I'm working on putting the makeup on and keeping it on.
Day 1.
I put eyeliner on in the morning. My toddler playfully watched, but didn't interrupt. I was successful. After about an hour, I started to feel itchy, but managed to resist the urge to scratch. So far, so good. I wore the eyeliner until early evening when I felt itchy and I subconsciously rubbed my eye, ruining the eyeliner on my right eye. I went to the bathroom to fix it. I cleaned it up and started to apply more, but I kept messing it up. My eyelid seemed to disagree with my intentions and kept jumping so all I ended up with were scribbles on my eyelid. I decided to clean my face up and leave it for the night.
Day 2.
I forgot about my challenge until about 1 pm and applied it late. For some reason, my hands and eyes didn't want to cooperate with each other and I ended up making many scribbles on my eyelids, and trying multiple times to apply the blessed eyeliner. It took longer than day 1. Right before my last try, I realized that I had eyeliner all over my hands. It was like I'd just had a war with the eyeliner pencil and lost. I somehow chipped the tip off of the pencil too. I was embarrassed, even though I was the only one in the room. In the end, I finally won the war with the evil eyeliner pencil and managed to get the makeup on my eyes. How can applying eyeliner be so hard? Ask my flipping eyelids why they despise it so!
Day 3.
Applying the eyeliner was much easier today. I still scribbled my right eyelid a little, but that eyelid seems to hate being touched anyway. I wore the makeup all day long without messing it up. I looked at myself in the mirror more this day and I thought I looked pretty good. I touched up the eyeliner a few times when it smeared, but had no wars with the pencil today. I took it off before bed, feeling accomplished for completing this small task.
Day 4.
This day I decided to mix up an essential oil moisturizer to help with the extremely dry skin on my face. No lotions seem to help and baby oil and other oils make my skin feel weighed down. So I'm constantly trying new things that might help with it. I then applied the eyeliner with no problem. I was so happy that it took less time and energy to apply it. This day, my husband of 10 years commented, "You're wearing makeup again. I'm not used to it." He said it as a good thing. I hadn't told him about my 7 day challenge yet at this point. I decided to tell him about it. He was surprised that I was doing it, but happy I'm doing something to help myself feel better. I messed the makeup up once, but was able to fix it without starting over. I wore it until bedtime.
Day 5.
On this day, I didn't feel at all like wearing makeup and it seemed like my eyelids agreed with me. The makeup felt heavy and almost sticky. It was itchy again. I was able to apply it without scribbling all over my eyelids again. I wore it all day again without messing it up. I noticed on this day that my eyes looked almost naked without the eyeliner. But I looked at myself in the mirror after removing the makeup and didn't notice a huge difference. I still think I look beautiful without it.
Day 6.
I remembered to put the eyeliner on right away. It was very easy today! I have noticed that the area around my eyes is drier than it was before applying makeup. I'll have to invest in an eye moisturizer if I decide to continue wearing makeup. I wore the eyeliner all day without incident and removed it before bed.
Day 7.
I can't believe that 7 days went so fast! I somehow thought it would take longer, or at least seem to.
On this day, I decided to use my eye shadow palette that has directions for applying. Big mistake! After I was finished, I looked like a clown! Those colors definitely did NOT work for me. I have been using black eyeliner for the past 6 days, and after removing my clown face, I decided to use brown eyeliner instead. I think this color looks better on me, because it matches my eyes (they are brown), but black looks great too. After removing my clown face, I looked at myself and realized that simple is better. I don't need all sorts of colors to look good with makeup on. I wore it all day without incident and removed it before bed. Read on to see what I learned from this past week.
Here's what I've learned during the week.
1. I felt better about myself while wearing makeup, but also more aware of myself. I felt nervous when interacting with others, wondering if my makeup was smeared or messed up in a way. Did it look good or did I look funny? I haven't noticed too much of a difference in my self esteem since I started wearing makeup. While I felt better about myself, and prettier, I felt more self conscience and aware of myself.
2. I'm not prettier while wearing makeup. I can honestly say this. Looking at myself in the mirror, I still see me, beautiful with and without makeup. My husband looks at me the same whether I'm wearing it or not. He absolutely adores me as I am.
3. Honestly, the struggle to put on makeup (even the days when it was easy) and remove it is real. And unnecessary. My skin isn't as healthy as it was before I started, although it is cleaner. It is drier, painful, and slightly swollen. I noticed that the small bags under my eyes were slightly bigger on day 7 than they were on day 1, and I had developed bigger creases (swollen, maybe) on my upper eyelids. I assure you, I don't torture my eyelids when applying makeup. I am gentle and don't feel pain when applying it.
4. I don't need it. I really don't. I am beautiful inside and out no matter what I look like.
I think I'm going to give up makeup though. I think I'll wear it sometimes, but not every day. Special occasions and when I feel like it will be when I put it on. I asked my husband what he truly thought of my 7 day makeup experiment and he replied, "Honestly, it's been weird seeing you with it on, but you are beautiful with or without it."
Thanks for reading!
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